Avoiding my Food Blog One Meme at a Time

What, oh what to write about now that the Sun-jan-man-jun-isto is like sooooooooo gonzo on American Idol? The mills of fate finally caught up with him. His time in the sun is finished. The party is over. (Elvis was never in this building.) The door has hit the kid in the…. Oh. I forgot. I had recently adopted a new attitude of motherly love about Sanjaya. That’s right. And I did feel the sting of a tear or two last night wanting to squeeze out of the ducts in my eyeballs — or eye sockets, or something — when he was being consoled by Lakisha WHO SINGS CIRCLES AROUND HIM IN THE DARK ON HER HEAD SPINNING UPSIDE DOWN ON ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. It was sad. But time. Finally. The mothers of the world (and lots of cranky people in blogland) united and graciously hid the tweeners’ cell phones.

So, what was I saying? Oh…yes. Whatever will we write about now? Well, I’ve been tagged for another meme, and I have to say that others who have been tagged seem comfortable not completing memes they’ve been tagged to do. Maybe it has something to do with clogging up the Internet. Ahem….I, on the other hand, am a complete sludge, and compelled to torture myself to complete the task. But this one’s fairly odd — clearly intended for someone not remotely in my age group — I don’t care how much I wax about having a youthful mind. So thanks Wacky Mom, whirlwind of activity, and goddess extraordinaire. I am forever indebted to you for this grueling experience first thing today on only my first cup of coffee when I promised myself that I would spend time on my other blog first. Whew. I knew I’d be able to blame my lack of attention to that blog on someone besides myself. Trick.

But you could check out these blogs instead while I’m ignoring mine, because they all work diligently on theirs:

• La Mia Cucina, and Culinary Concoctions by Peabody, (both are Daring Bakers and are dealing with the mousse challenge for Hay, Hay, it’s Donna Day! and which I am so late in getting done. The deadline is tomorrow. Yikes!
• Winos and Foodies (who I found yesterday, but I can’t remember where — sorry!) who is supporting Livestrong Day and encouraging everyone to support the fight against cancer by cooking something yellow, and
• Writing at the Kitchen Table who is hosting the Big Burger Ballyhoo since bar-be-que weather is upon us.

If you’re a foodie, these blogs are fun. Or maybe you are just a salivating type, and like to gaze from afar. Just wipe your monitor off when you’re done. Whatever. Check them out.

Other blog, you say? Sass & Veracity. Yes. The one you never go to. No, don’t go there now, because I haven’t gone there yet, myself. But I’ll get there, and will have stuff for you to drool over. For now, I’m dutifully completing this meme… And I’m going to employ a technique that Mel at Freak Parade taught me. (And today would be a great day to check out her blog, because she is hilarious and talking about testicles again — well it’s what those loser Google searchers are interested in.) You’ll get to decide if you want to join in to do the meme yourself. Tag. You’re sooooooooooooooo it. Whoever you are out there.

Layer One: On the Outside

Name: kellypea

Birthdate: sometime in the last century

Eye color: Bloodshot, with some kind of a bleary, bluish, greenish, greyish, puce-type thingy going on around the edges. Hazel?

Hair color: Uhhhh…I can’t remember the number on the box, but it is a different box than last time. On sale for $9.99. Because I’m worth it.

Righty or lefty: Opposite the MoH who says his is the correct one.

Layer Two: On the Inside

Your Heritage: Vintage Heinz Variety.

Your Fears: Waking up and thinking I’ll have to go back to the job I used to have. I think they call it Post Traumatic Distress Syndrome. Really.

Your Weakness: Probably quitting before I’m done, but you’re never really done, so if you don’t quit, then how can you get to the next thing? There’s so many things. Just picture a dessert store, and you’ll get it. Don’t fry brain cells on this one.

Your Perfection Pizza: Recently? Proscuitto, Brie, Arugula and Green Apple. Mmmmmm…….

Layer Three: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

Your Thoughts First Thing When You Wake Up: Is it carpool day?

Your bedtime: When my eyes start to cross and the book I’m trudging through begins to fall to the side.

Your Most Missed Memory: If it’s a missed memory, then I’m not going to be able to remember it, because it’s missing. And I understand that this will happen with more frequency and that I may be able to take pills for it.

Layer Four: Your Pick

Pepsi or Coke: Yuck. Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio, Vouvray, Viognier, or Veuve Clicquot, please, and can you super size that?

McDonald’s or Burger King: Neither. But Jose’s, Alaberto’s, and Carino’s, are quite tasty. (Taco Bell, if no one is looking.)

Single or Group Dates: What’s a date?

Tea or Nestea: Irish or Scottish Breakfast tea with milk and sugar. And leave the teabag in for a long time. It will grow hair on your chest.

Chocolate or Vanilla: Cake, ice cream, milk, cookies, pie, pudding, or what? Chocolate. Always. Bittersweet.

Cappucino or Coffee: All of the above. But especially made with a French Press. Mmmmm….In bed on Sunday morning with the newspaper.

Layer Five: Do You

Smoke: Like a train? No, but licking ashtrays instead would help the rest of the world breathe better. Breathing is a challenge for me, so smoking wouldn’t work. Besides. It stinks, wrecks your skin, makes lines in your lips, which makes your lipstick run, and the scar that was left on my grandmother’s body when they cut out one of her lungs out is something I never want to see again.

Curse: Along with my grandmother (post mortem), my mother, and several very good friends. Frequently. And syntactically correct. But only select words.

Take a shower: Uhh…as opposed to…? No, I’m a throwback from the Middle Ages, and think it’s unhealthy, so spend my days like a rancid grease ball. Sweaty and greasy…Lovely. Mmmmm….how ’bout a date?

Have a crush: Okay. Is one of Howard’s Tweeners in the room? A crush? Isn’t that something that 12-year-olds do? Have crushes? Who wrote this thing?

Think you’ve been in love: Think? Know. Still. Hopefully that would be the reason marriage was in order all those years ago. Think? Are there people out there who haven’t been? Really?

Want to get married: Again? The MoH would not think that this would be very cost effective.

Believe in yourself: Yup. Unflappably. Most of the time. Except when…

Think you’re a health freak: Hmmm…maybe just a freak. Of nature. You know. Donate my body to science upon my demise to answer all the great mysteries of life.

Layer Six: In the Past Month

Drank Alcohol: About 12,000 calories less than the month before. And have you tried Acacia chardonnay?

Gone to the mall: What’s a mall? Do they sell sweats and jammies?

Eaten sushi: And have made a mean California roll as well. But we didn’t toast the leftovers for breakfast like the instructor told us to. Ewww….

Dyed your hair: If I only had the money in my pocket now from all those years at the hair saloon, I’d be fiddling on the roof.

Layer Seven: Have you ever...

Played a Stripping Game: Do people actually do this? It’s just so gauche. I’m thinking it’s just an Urban Legend.

Changed Who You Were to Fit In: Yes. My jeans. They didn’t fit. I’m changing myself now, daily.

Layer Eight: Age

Hoped to be Married: Didn’t this already come up? Hope? My grandmother used to say something like, “Hope (wish) in one hand an s*&t in the other and see which one fills up the fastest.” Wise woman. I wouldn’t sit around wishing upon a star if I was you.

Layer Nine: In a Girl/Guy

Best Eye Color: Don’t they talk about this stuff in junior high year books? I like my doggo’s lovely, soft brown eyes. Don’t you?

Best Hair Color: Blaxter has the silkiest black coat…

Short Hair or Long Hair: Messy Very messy. Cute RT.
Layer Ten: What Were You Doing

1 Minute Ago: Wondering why I’m still doing this stoopid meme…Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

1 Hour Ago: Scarfing down my breakfast ration of Kashi multi grain buds with 1% milk. Spoon clacking against the sides of the bowl while fighting off the cat who always wants my cereal milk, but won’t drink his own on a plate.

4.5 Hours Ago: Snoozing, sweating, throwing covers off, freezing….but not in that particular order.

One Month Ago: Starting this blog thang.

One Year Ago: Beginning to realize, for the ten-thousandth time in ten years, that I should find a different profession before the one I had killed me.

Layer Eleven: Finish the Sentence

I love: my life. All of it.

I feel: lucky every single day.

I hate: nothing. It is an emotion that draws too much energy from everything.

I hide: stuff in my closets when people come to our house.

I need: a job. Anyone out there need someone who wipes their feet before entering the room, has nice hand writing and can cook a mean lasagna?

Layer Twelve: Who I tagged

Explained above — anyone who has writer’s block today and needs something to write about, but can make it more interesting than I have.

Now….for my food blog responsibilities.