Thinking About Dog Turds, Dead Birds & Report Cards







Sometimes, life leaves you little packages. Some are pleasant, and others require thought. A few are earned, and the rest may be deposited with you whether you want them or not. They make you wince, hold your breath, shake your head in disgust, or shed tears of remorse. Yesterday was one of those days. A thinking type of day.

Thinking about things like:

  • What that thing was on the third riser from the top on the staircase. That rounded, dark-looking, too big to be one of the RT’s mishmash of military paraphernalia. That…glob…leaning up against the wall. Did the doggo drop a piece of her load on the rug? No. Can’t be. But there it was in all its glory, a turdlett, most likely left accidentally on her way out the door first thing in the morning. She just couldn’t make it. Somehow she knew that I had found it, and avoided making eye contact as I carried it to the trash, her eyes flicking up and away, knowing she had been caught and was embarrassed.
  • Or the sweet little yellow-headed bird Blaxter brought up to me like he was awarding me a bouquet of roses — his mouth full of feathers after laying the no longer breathing feathered beauty softly at my side on the rug. His green eyes searching my face for a response for his deed of gift-giving. What possessed him after eight years to catch a bird? I patted him on the head, gave him a few scratches and rubs, and carefully scooped up the poor bird to take it somewhere a bit more respectful for a while. No little boys at home any more to coo over the loss, and with whom to hold a ceremony. And just a patio with no land or space of dirt to dig a hole and bury it.
  • Or the report card. The RT’s. One last stretch until the end of the semester. Until the end of his first year in high school. A decent report card– excellent in some areas (Biology), definite work needed in others (The Geometry Teacher’s Class). The report card felt more mine than his. What can I have done to support him more? How do we instill in him the need to engage? To connect the dots. To join the world of the practical. Maybe he has it right, and everyone else has it wrong. “RT, I really need you to hop up and down, pull your hair out, look generally miserable about school and stress out about everything that’s going on. You know?” It’s funny that when I remember being in ninth grade–and I do clearly–homework was insignificant, the assignments required little thought, and my classes were less than inspiring. I went every day, did what was expected of me, and spent almost no energy on any of it–but not consciously. So what am I complaining about?

My ultimate report card?

Today was weigh-in day for progress on my diet. I’m not feeling very svelte this morning, and it isn’t because of the wrecked hamstring in my left leg. There’s nothing to celebrate, that is unless I consider my health, and all that kind of good stuff often taken for granted. I’m back up about a pound. It must be Thursday night’s very reasonable portion of Chocolate Mousse–Banana Split Style which was so delicious I could have eaten all of it myself, but didn’t. Or pasta a couple of different ways over a couple of different days, or the pizza on Saturday when we were working like dogs, or the Eggs Baked in Cream yesterday morning…Whoa. Oh, and the wine. And the beer. Looks like I’ll have to pop that celery out of the veggie bin. Dinner needs to be on a smaller plate. And I probably don’t need sugar in my coffee.

On the brighter side of things, a few weeks back, I received a very pleasant review of my blog which I believe I neglected to share. In his review, Billy Mac said, “New kid on the block Kellementology is on the path to stardom. She has all the right who…what…where…and whens in order, her format is set up nicely and she posts on a regular basis. What else can you ask for from a blogger.  Now it’s the waiting game to watch the blog blossom. Keep up the good work…keep the content as good a s it is…and good luck.”  I swear I blushed when I read it.

Then,  Confessions of a Former Bookworm anointed me with a Thinking Bloggers Award, and in very good company, as well.  Perhaps it makes sense that I gave you all my pensive  thoughts above to consider  while I was thinking about it. Just sharing the thinking one post at a time, whomever, and where ever you are out there.

It’s a pretty diverse list, but the following people give me pause in their various regions of the blog world, sometimes like a cold splash of water, or others like the brush of tall grass in a gentle breeze. I discovered Wonderland or Not fairly recently. I like her edgy, witty point of view and general voice in whatever she writes–even though I have to scratch my head occasionally, and stew over it. And Dave, of course, at Wandering the Ether, who never fails to make me feel guilty for writing about American Idol, or the RT’s messy bedroom instead of societal issues that are perpetually swept under the rug. Or like Writing Under a Pseudonym whose writing on life and its trials is hauntingly beautiful at times, and so achingly sad others, that I feel as if I’m an intruder as I read, and don’t know how she makes it from one day to the next. I don’t read these blogs the same way, for the same length of time, or for the same reasons. I respond to one, and hover around the other two. They simply make me think each time I check on each of them. They coerce me into a world more serious than the one I’ve wanted to be a part of recently and I appreciate that.

So, in the spirit of thought, I’m off for my walk early today, to think. Free as a bird, listing to the left a bit, weighing more than I want, but ready to pound the streets in search of anything a bit less serious in Paradise. Because a bit of levity is good for the soul. Would you put this on your house? Really? Shhhhhh…..I’m thinking.





9 responses to “Thinking About Dog Turds, Dead Birds & Report Cards”

  1. your writing is lovely… a bit of this and that, but all engaging and humorous. Definitely deserving of the TB award! 🙂
    BTW on my computer, the 1st, 2nd, 5th & 6th pictures aren’t rendoring (can’t say I’m sorry about the first two!!)

  2. Hi Jenny and thanks! And I can see that the images that aren’t coming up are the icons for the “awards.” Who knows how to fix that…it’s kind of like dusting, isn’t it? hahahaha, And there was no picture of the turd. I restrained myself. But they were working on my site a bit ago, so who knows!

  3. Congrats on your review and your thinking blogger award.

    I just cleaned up a turdlet from my cat the other day. Gah. What is up with that? It’s not like he had to be let outside…he has a freakin’ littler box. Your dog has such a sweet, little face.

  4. How are you darling??/ Jumped over for a break…and don’t you know it………you already got this freaking award…I have to my meme tomorrow…….so guess I can’t tag you on this……..Oh well darling.
    So now….I guess I have to go find someone else. Oh dear….i did go check out your friend Psydoneum….whatever.

    Times up. you keep me rolling babe!!!

  5. Hey Mel, Thanks for the kudos! My cats manage to hit the box, but treat us to uncovered leavings. Blech. And the doggo has to have a cute face b/c you should see the rest of her hybridness: seal-pig deer-dog combo to go.

    And Ev! I am so sorry that you have to find someone else to annoint. I no how that feels……tick tock tick tock. Did you throw out the timer yet? Come on. Chuck it at someone out the window and smile. Well, not really, but you know.

  6. Kelly,
    Have I ever mentioned how much I love it when another one of these Thinking Blogger memes rolls around? Gives me a glimpse at what my favorite people read, and is so much more constructive at expanding ye ole blog roll than the aimless surfing.

    I appreciate the nod. Jen over at Goodness Graciousness sent me this one too, awhile ago, I don’t know could be days? Months? Time is sooo unmeasured right now. I found it to be really difficult to choose just five blogs to tag. Quite honestly, I could tag everyone that I read because I am kind of a snob in that, I only read people who make me think!!

    Have I mentioned yet how much I like the tweaks you have made to the template? At first I was I thought oh no, that great header is gone, but quickly realized it is now even better. You have the Andy Warhol action going on ^^ so cool.

    Oh, btw, “turdlette?” Ahahahah, nice.

  7. Oh! Thank you for the award! It brightens my day to think that my writing has meant something to someone. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and for the award for sure.

  8. […] have to say–I’m surprised! Thank you to the Kellementology blog! Your award comes at a particularly pitiful moment in my life, and I gobble this award up with […]

  9. kellypea

    Hey Dave….Thanks for finding my new digs. Yah, I tried to get the header, and haven’t given up, but it’s a way long story. I’m just glad it actually looks like something. And I’m a serious tree-hugger, so it will suffice for now. Choosing your blog was a no brainer for me. And I, too love the blogs I read regularly. I guess I split hairs when it comes to the real hard makes my head feel like it’s in school and I have to be responsible and constructive with my thought kind of thinking that your blog squeezes out of me. You know?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.