life according to me

life according to me

Flower Smelling & Connecting Dream Dots

“A well-rounded life is filled with delights and wonders. Why is that so easy to forget? Instead of getting caught up in another mundane drama, choose intrigue and awe.”

Acer Hmmm…my horror-scope for the day. No, I’m not a daily reader, or even more than someone who comes across things like this occasionally and pauses long enough to think about how it relates to me — if at all. It’s fascinating when a few things come together all at once, though, like it’s someone’s plan — for me. Again, not really what I believe, but interesting to think about.

For example, after I read the words quoted above, I started my day on the web ( I know…) and came across Mr. Besilly whose post today is about “Holding Onto Dreams.” I could wax prolifically about the words of the person he quotes, because I had an inkling of a thought of an idea one upon a time that I won’t call impossible — because I’m not one to call anything that — but was a very bright light in my life for the blink of an eye. Although it never came to be, I remember it with fondness whenever something reminds me of it. It was worth having that seed of a possibility for a while, taking the ho-hum out of my life, giving me the rich taste of what could be.Cute Purple Flowers Whose Name I Forgot.

And then I remembered a post yesterday at I Live on a Farm called “Dream like no one is watching” and thought about the connection between dreaming, delights, and wonders. I suppose if you’re the practical sort, you’ve snorted a few times by now. You have a list, or lists, more likely: one for today, one for the week, one for the month, one for short term and long term things to get done. Maybe you actually accomplish the things on those lists, and fall into bed each night with a sense of “job well done.” That’s simply marvelous, because I would hope that you don’t end each day with a drowning sense of not being ever finished, or being obsessed with being able to count the things you did — like someone is keeping score and will catch you if you didn’t do anything. Do you? Yes, you do. That’s pretty sad. I’m an expert because I used to do that, too.

Looks Like a FirecrackerThe Moh and I drove down to the beach for a walk in the the “May Grey” that precedes the “June Gloom” last evening to move our bones a bit and breathe the salty, brisk air. At some point, our talk turned to the idea of wanting, wishing, or hoping for more — whatever more is, and whether wanting more is something you can do aloud. You know, if you say it, you’ll be struck down, or frowned upon, or thought greedy because you should always be thankful for what you have, and there are starving people in this world, and it’s just wrong to want more. More. Lots and lots more. I’m sorry! Okay? Jeez.

Now, picture a man standing with a solid, grounded stance, holding a balloon that resembles a woman reaching for the stars, suspended by a long, long string that he is trying to pull her to back to Earth with. That would be me and the MoH on our walk having this discussion. But at some point towards the end, he told me a story he heard on the radio about the mayonnaise jar and the golf balls. You’ve probably heard it already, but I hadn’t, and a simple Google search of “Story jar, golf balls, pebbles, sand, and coffee” gained me 23,900 hits. I never cease to amaze myself at how long my head has been completely buried in the sand for the last gazillion years. I chose the post called “Cup of Life” at joey moggie if you haven’t heard the story either — and welcome to my world.Lobelia

First off, the Moh doesn’t tell stories, so the whole thing was pretty wonderful just listening to him. Yah, I really like the MoH. And I torture him with my malarkey all the time, so he gets a star for that. But even more interesting — his story connects with everything else that has been lining up lately. No, I’m not going to go off on some bizarro cosmos rant. But remember what I said about considering myself to be a pathological optimist and constructive pessimist? Well, these pithy words of wisdom have been falling all around me for days now, and I’m just now getting around to noticing their connection to one another. What I need to do is get a big cork for my constructive pessimism that is always yammering at and around me, telling me about all the “what ifs” I have to watch out for or else.

HoneysuckleI’m surrounded by practical people everywhere — except the RT who’s drifty like me, and it’s really challenging to not listen to them. I’m thinking they should listen to me. Well, they do, but more. Somebody responded to one of my posts the other day saying that I just had to tolerate something because it was how things are. Just accept it because “we” all do. Society “we.”  My maternal grandmother’s response to that would have been, “Who’s we? You and the turd in your pocket?” Now that’s a woman who knew things. She just never got credit for knowing. Of course, she wasn’t very practical, either. I’m thinking practical isn’t all it’s chalked up to be. And I’m tired of being a round peg in a square hole — or something like that. So I’m smelling the flowers just about as fast as I can every day now, making up for lost time. I’m doing so much flower smelling my house is messier that it’s ever been, and it still hasn’t caved in so there must be something to my method.

Now, where was that dream so I can blow the dust off of it and give it a few tweaks here and there. Maybe some mouth to mouth resuscitation. It may not be the stuff of intrigue and awe, but still. Then you’ll see. Just watch. Come on — hold your breath. I dare you.Martha



14 thoughts on “Flower Smelling & Connecting Dream Dots”

  • How kind of you to include me in your post. Much appreciated. You did a wonderful job of laying out your thoughts on dreams. We have been trained in our culture that all dreams must be attainable. Not so fast! Those are goals more than dreams.

    About dreams you said “it was worth having that seed of a possibility for a while, taking the ho-hum out of my life, giving me the rich taste of what could be.”

    That’s it exactly! That’s what we should never let go of. You captured the heart of the matter. It makes our life a rich pageant and worth tilling through another day. Wishing you greatness today. Cheers!

    Ray Basile

  • Thanks for your appreciation. I just love it when things connect. Now, I better go and connect with everything away from this computer, right?

  • I’ve heard the one about the mayo jar and two cups of coffee……. Just when you think you can’t take on anymore, you can, and there is always time for a cup of coffee with a friend. The cat’s out of the 55ft tree, my nose is still attached, but a person on my car insurance policy rear ended someone on the 66 today. That last bit was probably the sand and now I still have room for coffee (can I replace the coffee with wine?). I loved the image of you as a balloon floating above your MOH.

  • Kelly,
    I loved this post. But I wonder, what is wrong with the ‘what-ifs?’ Is it that the what-ifs are discouraging you? Making you think twice?

    That inkling of a thought in the corner of your mind that you mention… what if we all took those and just ran with them? What if, during the time spent “smelling the flowers,” we came closer to grasping everything in our peripheral?

    One of the things that scares me the most about doing this in my own life is the knowledge that to do so, I will change, and who will I be then? What effect will that have on the important peoples in my life?

    I say damn the negative what-ifs and embrace the positives! We only live once. 🙂

  • OMG loripea. Your car? The hubster? You? Not the middle grill…Truly? But your face is gorgeous.

    Life seems a bit rough around the edges, huh? I’m thinking wine is in order.

    Of course, I would have had the wine first, then climbed in that damn tree myself to get that bad kitty.

    Hi Dave! Actually, your questioning the “what-ifs” was the point of our discussion on the walk before the jar story. And the MoH agrees with you, but in his numerically based way of thinking. 2 + 2 = x Except I like to leave the “x” and he has a finite solution.

    I’m comfortably on the positive side of the what-ifs in life, and smell the flowers while considering them. I’ve just been programmed to look over my shoulder while I’m doing it. The activities I engage in that are of a creative nature send me into hyperdrive on those what-ifs.

    And not to worry about who you will become and which of yourselves you’ll leave behind. I’m on my 6th or 7th self about now and there’s no end in site. Cakewalk. Dive right in and enjoy the ripples. Woo Hoo!

  • Hi Polliwog — Thanks for the kudos and for stopping by. You caught me on a calm day 🙂

    One never knows, but it’s definitely entertaining.

  • Well darling,
    This is fabulous! Gorgeous. Sorry I haven’t been over here to see the new design. I just did a quickie overhaul to fix my sore eyes. But this is a new redo…and I’m duly impressed. You are on hot tamale! I mean I am BLOWN AWAY! We’ll have to talk about you redo when I redo, but not now because I can’t redo because i’m redoing other stuff that needs my attention. Remember the mime map. Oh sweetie, I need to tag you again! Hopefully you’re up for it.

  • Oh, and Dooce is on your blogroll. She is SOOO COOL ISN’T SHE? Now some people may have an issue……..but I love people that are just out there……..and she puts herself out there….some perfect mom’s that exist in this world………think I’m TOOOO OUT THERE….but then I’m NOT PERFECT AND I’LL KEEP IT THAT WAY!!!!!!!!!

  • Hi Ev,
    Thanks for the lavish praise. It’s kind of got a Zen thing going on, huh? Still waters run deep. And did I forget a meme or mime map or what? Or did you forget to tag me?

    Yes, Dooce is great. I think she’s the second or third blog I ever found six whole weeks ago or so when I started doing this. Time flies when you’re having fun!

  • E — You just do it like anything else — “Bird by Bird.” or what you would call — Getter done. Plus, you have to turn off the volume on that radio station Anne Lamott calls KFKD. Your’s is turned on way loud all the time. Where the hell is my Anne Lamott book anyway? It keeps coming up and I want to read it, but I probably loaned it to someone and forgot who….I know…you don’t know what I’m talking about. Blather, blather…Snort!

  • Glad I had some time from the little punks to see what you’ve been up to… the timing is perfect. Motherhood, parenting, teething toddlers, tantruming preschoolers isn’t always what it is cracked up to be. Freakin’ exhausting, mentally & physically.

    Thank you for your thoughts & reminders about smelling the flowers, living life by the day; “live & dream like no one is watching” and the Cup Of Life story. Sometimes I need a kick in the butt to enjoy what I have, not worry about the ‘what-ifs’ and try to love my boys for all that they are even when they drive me absolutely & completely insane.

    PS – I am a list person too… luckily they don’t keep me up in the night too often! OH – and I loved that Anne Lamont book, “Bird by Bird”. Great ideas to get your braining thinking & writing.

  • Hey Ritzy,
    I keep wondering if you’ve dived into blogland. There are so many moms out there with little ones like you who express the same sentiments about life with kids. I guess I’m proof that we survive — No duh, right? It just doesn’t seem like it while it’s all happening. And you have such incredibly handsome young guys. *heart*

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