Douse ’em all!


Ah, moisture in the atmosphere. Nothing like a thick blanket of fog to dampen things and cool a few tempers. A bucket of cold water would most likely work better for some.

So here’s my list of recipients of the “Bucket of Cold Water in the Face” award for a flagrant display of ego during and after a catastrophe.

  • In a letter to the editor of the local paper, a woman from Imperial Beach (spitting distance to the Baja California border) for suggesting that “the power be shut down in the areas of high winds until they dissipate to the point that they pose little danger to the line.” Life is just so simple to some, isn’t it?
  • Our city attorney for suggesting that the entire city be evacuated to Yuma. Excuse me? Could someone — anyone — please oppose him in the next election. Please? He’s completely bonkers.
  • To the illustrious blow hard Rush Limbaugh for asking where all the “environmentalists wackos” are when the place is burning up and asking why they aren’t helping to fight the fires. What? Was he out of material that day? Oh, I forgot. He’s been out of material since Bill Clinton left office. Stupid me.
  • People who know their homes weren’t destroyed, but who were vociferously complaining that they couldn’t return to their own while their neighbors whose homes are in ashes keep their chins up, smile, and sift through what’s left of their belongings. Ugly Americans, indeed. Douse ’em again for just being a**holes. Okay, one more for the road. Losers.
  • Dub-yah’s motorcade and entourage for keeping people who had been told they could return to their homes sitting on the freeway for over four hours until he was done touring a burn area, and eating lunch at a fire command post. Sometimes, you just have to check your routines, right? Douse ’em good and then rub some mud on their faces.
  • Talk radio crazies who began stirring the pot about blame before the fires are out challenging why aircraft weren’t up in winds that exceeded 70 mph in some places dropping water and fire retardant. Skip the water on this one. Drop some fire retardant on their heads instead. Or give ’em a few pills to put them out of our misery.
  • A woman from Rancho Bernardo who felt that “the president picked a bad time to come.” Okay, so he could have waited a week, but Arnold was here for days, so Dub-yah had to be here, too, or he would have had egg on his face. Hmmm….No. Douse ‘er anyway for being self-centered.
  • To the woman who applied for food stamps because the power was out and the food in her refrigerator spoiled. How much food is that? And how big is that fridge? And how long does it take meat in a freezer to thaw out if no one opens the door?
  • To the media and their “helpful” public service advice with regard to the ash on our driveways and sidewalks: Don’t wash it off with the hose because it will end up in the water. (Um…has anyone noticed the large body of saltwater to the west? Do you actually think that it has remained remarkably free of ash to this point and that washing ash from our driveways will create a problem?) Oh, and absolutely don’t use leaf blowers. (Okay, so I agree with this simply because the make an annoying sound and do blow crap into the air — especially if someone hasn’t picked up after their dog.) Do use a broom. But sweep gently so the ash doesn’t go back into the air. By all means, do dispose of the ash in the garbage can. (Where it will go to the dump, get rained on sometime in the next century when it finally does rain, and then wash into the ocean.) Okay, so skip the water on this one. Just dump a truck-load of ash on her head. Or feed her to Rush Limbaugh for lunch.

And that concludes yet another day of ranting.






6 responses to “Douse ’em all!”

  1. a-fucking-mazing… i cannot believe there are people this dense in power… well.. yes,, i guess i can….

  2. having been to Yuma ..I can understand the reluctance to the suggestion…maybe El Centro would have been a better alternative ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Hey paisley, in the land of sunshine, anything goes.

    Robert, now that you mention it, Brawley might have been good. Oh, wait. Too much sand.

  4. I know of a few people who could use a good dousing….may I borrow your bucket?
    Add the people who are complaining that where the manpower went was politics at work…..My little house in Arrowbear isn’t as valuable as the multi-million dollar homes in Malibu, so they are getting all the air support. It’s all about money….No, It’s all about dangerous winds, you moron. Douse ’em
    Add the people watching their little kids run around the park when we were clearly advised to limit all outdoor activity due to smoke…and all school outdoor activity and sporting events were canceled. The fire is about 4 miles behind us. We are in a valley, so the smoke just settles right down on us. The Girl has a horrible cough, The Boy’s eyes are bothering him, and I have problems with my eyes, a sore throat, and a bloody nose. See that stuff in the air , idiot? Um, yeah…don’t let your kids breathe it.

  5. Hey mel — we’re sick of listening to all of them. All they do is talk all over each other anyway. Say something sensational, get ratings hikes, get better advertising…it’s so lame. I didn’t realize you guys were so close. Jeez! That’s pretty scary — especially with smoke just hovering. I’m surprised they didn’t evacuate you. Our evacuation zones started getting a bit ridiculous.

  6. Kelly:
    We weren’t evacuated because we are on the other side of the Cleveland National Forest….you know how they were trying to keep the Santiago fire from going over the hill and crossing county line? Yeah, we were sitting down the hill on the other side of county line. ๐Ÿ™‚ We had a big meeting on Friday about fire status and evacuation info. They were able to build a big fire break and the weather changed, so it looks like we are good now. Glad everything worked out with your visitors too. ๐Ÿ™‚

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