life according to me

life according to me

Dear Walmart…

My journey as a NaBloPoMo-Ho continues into its second day…

November 2, 2007

Dear Retailers (and in particular, Big Box Retailers, but specifically, Walmart):

It has been noted that you have begun to show concern with respect to your sales projections for the upcoming holiday season, and as a result, have begun to slash prices. Evidently, your thinking can be encapsulated in this concept: If the price is low enough, the consumer will want what you want them to want because you want them to and your attorneys always get what you want them to get. Simple.

I do have some consternation about this kind of thinking. It doesn’t exactly keep me awake at night, because not much does other than my relentless hot flashing, but still, I do think about where your narrow minded economics will end. At some point, someone has to lose. With any luck at all, it will be you, and not the consumer.

The average consumer is tired of being the poster child for your faulty thinking. Well, except for the consumers who have figured out that they can purchase until they are bankrupt, and then have all their debts excused in bankruptcy court so that someone else has to pay for it. Okay, so the IDEAL consumer, not the average consumer. You know. Honest ones. Where was I? Oh yes…

However, other considerations force me to acknowledge that if you lose, then you will claim that you will be forced to lay off employees (when all the while your CEOs will reel in massive bonuses even after the Board of Directors gives them a vote of no confidence and asks for their resignation), who are ultimately consumers, who then have no funds to consume consumables in a comfortable fashion. A different perspective could be that if you claim to have high losses, you’ll have fewer resources (minions) to convince consumers (suckers) that they can’t live without a 50″ flat panel plasma television for $998.00 and wouldn’t it make so much sense to get your Christmas shopping done now instead of waiting because wouldn’t you like to impress your holiday guests with this new purchase? Poor, poor unsuspecting consumers will then have to find out that in order to actually see High Def on their newly purchased and initially cheap television, they will have to subscribe for HDTV service and that the industry is sort of dragging in getting more than the basic channels up and running with High Def. Oh, and that warranty? And what about those cables and energy cleaners? Not so cheap. But still. $998.00 does sound good, doesn’t it?

I’d just like to let you know that I am one of the new “increasingly resistant” consumers that you fear. I’m not coerced by sales or advertising. I don’t make impulsive purchases because you expect me to. I have no trouble at all in resisting any remote urge to “keep up with the Joneses.” No sweat. I will not be in line at your heavily advertised 8 AM sales events with the purple kool-aid drinking lemmings who seem to live for the fighting opportunity to get their hands on a limited number of sales items, and then when they fail, shop because they’re now in your clutches, and spend money on other items. Just like you planned. And you will sigh with relief because they are not spending their money on The Dreaded Gift Card that is such a detriment to your reported earnings.

I will be content to shop when I feel like it, purchase what I want and continue to hope that the whole point of giving is just that. And that looking for the “just right gift” isn’t because of a sale, or cutting edge, or newest of the new. It’s just the right match for the person I have in mind.

I won’t be using my home equity like an ATM to fund Christmas, nor do I expect to charge anything that won’t be immediately paid off. I could. But I won’t.

So just a word of advice.

Resist upper management when they tell you they have pro-rated product coming your way. Take a stand. Let them choke on it for buying it without consideration for how much inventory you currently have. It’s really not a big deal because they guy who will get screwed in the proposition is the one who okayed the initial purchase.

Somebody has to be big enough to stop the nonsense. Just say no! Or maybe at least think about it?
Besides. I’ll be forever indebted to you for not having to watch all the ridiculous advertising that is sure to come this year, acting as if it can tempt me to get out my wallet.

Good luck to you and your bottom line in the rapidly approaching season. Perhaps you’ll soon come to realize that the projected 4% increase in sales over last year is really just fine. Just practice what The Ideal Consumer has to practice: restraint.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my thoughts on this matter. I’m off to IKEA.

Sincerely,

An Increasingly Resistant Consumer in Paradise



14 thoughts on “Dear Walmart…”

  • *giggles* Absofrigginlutely! Could not have said it better, myself, so I won’t even try!

    Thanks for your comment & help. I think WordPress needs to get off their duff and support javascript, for the love of chocolate! Seriously.

    Thanks and have a great weekend!

  • retlailers are just trying to cash in on the “gotta have the latest gadget craze”..the advertising promotes the concept…HD tv has been around for quite a few years in the commercial audio-visual business.. which I used to haul for shows…I saw all this stuff years ago..which is why I haven’t jumped on the bandwagon….the actually shelf life of some of this stuff is short 5 to 7 years…your better off to buy after the intial craze period is over… it’s a hell of a lot cheaper and better quality..pick your spots as you said…I still don’t have HD..I’m waiting then will buy after christmas…the more od an intelligent shopper you are the better off you will be….see if zI can be serious when called upon..but it puts a strain on me which will have to be medicated by JD…:):):)

  • Hey Chick…Great minds think alike!

    Hi Beth — and yes, I used to have a wordpress hosted blog and that aspect of it drove me to getting my own domain. It’s been worth it just so I can have what I want when I want it on my site. Wait. Does that make me like Walmart? Scary.

    And ditto on your weekend!

    Hi Robert! We actually have HD, which I love. We purchased a couple of years ago. I did do my research before we purchased, though. But you are right in that we have paid more for what we enjoy. Hence, my lack of membership in the lemming club. Now if they could just get around to having all channels on HD, it would be great. As far as JD meds are concerned, you’d have to scrape me off the floor. I’d say give in to the purchase and just sip the JD.

  • I confess! Even though I did not need it I bought that “Wolverine” Belly-Washer purely on impulse. And I don’t even *like* apple juice. I should be arrested for crimes against Reason and Sanity.

    Maybe my no-doubt sensational trial will be broadcast in high-def…

  • I recognized your name, but couldn’t figure out from where, then I saw RaJ’s name in your Blogroll and it hit me. Thanks for visiting my blog.
    I do think that certain stores have unrealistic goals and underestimate people’s willingness to say no. They did have those little chocolate bars on sale for half price, after Halloween, and who could resist buying a couple of boxes of those. Did I need them? Like a hole in the head, but I sure enjoy them. Anyway…I do agree with you, and I hate all the ads.

  • girl.. i just bought to pairs of pants at the grocery outlet today… tell me walmart isn’t loosing their advertising booty on “shoppers” like me!!!!!!!

    great post~!!!

  • I never shop Walmart the ones I have been in are too big, and I hate shopping for the most part.
    My grandmother always used to say it doesn’t matter if you pay ten dollars for the item which usually sells for fifty, if you don’t need it and it isn’t a bargain it’s baggage.

  • RJ, I don’t think I really want to know what a wolverine belly washer is. I will watch your trial ONLY if it’s in Hi Def. Period. Your belly will look grand.

    Hey Dawn! Sorry. I should have mentioned the merge I took. And you gotta resist the dark side on those chocolate sales. But only when everyone is looking. Otherwise, is all men for themselves.

    Paisley, No, they love you. Did you notice the red carpet you trod on as you entered their golden gates and smiled at the greeter?

    Cooper, I’m in love with your gramma. Maybe she can oppose meleah’s gramma in the next election.

  • Hey nursemyra — I actually hadn’t thought about it, but yanno — I just might. In some cases, it won’t be physically possible. You know, kind of like when kids send letters to Santa. Stay tuned to this Bat Channel…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *