Dear Gurus…

November 19, 2007

Dear Whomever thought of

What a completely cool idea. Yesterday I had so much fun being on “TV” while I was working in my kitchen. Who knew? Does this mean I’m a closet Giada or budding Rachael? A potential Bobby or possible Mario? If you’re even thinking of swallowing this, pigs are circling over your head as we speak. But still. broadcast

Setting up a broadcast on was the means to an end. I have quite a few cyber baking buddies, and because we’d planned to cook together yesterday (quite the feat considering I’m on the Left Coast, a couple are in the Midwest and East Coast, and one lives in Argentina. And the plan was to have used Yahoo for instant messaging.


And I have swamp land in Florida. For sale.

I won’t go into the sordid details of why this never actually happened other than to say that I, using the web version and in Beta, somehow did not fit in. So rather than collecting my baking pans and calling it a day, logged on to and launched my show, “Kelly Cooks.” I’m not there right now because my tongue’s still hanging to my knees after yesterday. Jeez.

It was completely hilarious. And not unlike blabbing with friends or family sitting on the other side of the bar while I cook at a party. In fact it felt exactly the same.

Of course there was no clevage, or giant sets of teeth, no Eee-Vee-Ohh-Ohh. In fact, sometimes, there was no food, or no face. And never both at the same time. The camera is at the top of my screen so making it point in a particular direction isn’t an art. Yanno? I don’t exactly live in a television studio, and that wasn’t the purpose of the broadcast anyway. It was to chat with friends while I cooked, remember?

And I got to chat with Helen of Tartlette which is the most amazing dessert blog you’ve ever seen. And Jerry of Cooking By the Seat of My Pants, who has several blogs (I don’t know how he does it…) and is also caught in the throes of organizing his place like I am. Jerry’s trying to get me to cook by the seat of my pants, too. And he’s encouraging me to drink wine while I’m doing this. This reminds me a bit of running with scissors, but I can, and do. Frequently. But I was on tv, yanno? You have to maintain some degree of hoity-toityness, right? And let’s see, who else? Breadchick of The Sour Dough and Ben of What’s Cooking?. And if I remember correctly, Sara of I Like to Cook. Of course practically my whole fam damily in Virginia, because I called them and asked if they wanted to see me make an ass out of myself on tv and of course they said yes and could they have a front row seat. So they hunkered on down for the duration on several computers. And it was quite the duration. Nary a cyber tomato hit me. Imagine that! Rotten pitchers, that audience of about…oh….I’d say about 10 whole people. Actually, the stats say there were 326 drive bys views.

So what did I make? Cinnamon rolls. Homemade pasta with roasted peppers and herbed goat’s cheese. I’m completely pooped. Totally. Multitasking has been taken to a new level. It was hilarious trying to remember what I was doing while trying to read the questions and comments written the the chatbox. But it wasn’t too bad. At least I didn’t pulverize the English language like Dub-Yah does…did? Does he still do that? Whatever.

A hot bubble bath smelling somewhere between a fig and a grapefruit, a novel, candles (to see my book because the light’s not great) and more wine were seriously in order after all was said and done. Ahh….such is the life of a web tv drone star.

So thanks, gurus. I had a blast meeting new people as well. I’ll have to be a bit more organized if I do this again, but I don’t know how. Plus, I had to carry my beloved Mac down to the kitchen, so that was an annoyance to others in the house, even thought they didn’t actually complain. I would have. And my niece said I should have some kind of sign that states what I was cooking so each time someone new entered the chatroom I didn’t have to repeat what I already said.

Perhaps a sign that hangs around my neck? A chalkboard. Park someone with a hook off camera for dragging me off screen when things get truly pathetic, lapsing into, “A guy walks into a bar with a monkey…” while I’m whipping egg whites. Yes, like that.

I’ll let you know when I do it again. Heck, I’ll even give you advance warning so you can make sure you’re not anywhere near a computer. Bwhahahahaha!



p.s. One kind viewer/chatter said that there is also something called stickcam which allows the viewers to be heard and seen as well. I’m going to check that out. And Yahoo? Well…feh.


12 responses to “Dear Gurus…”

  1. I thought it was a hell of an idea…. I think we are going to try it with a bunch that works on old cars..they are spread out all over..but it would be a great way to exchange ideas and get a line on parts and stuff…..wecould also see what kind of beer they are drinking as well…..:):)

  2. loripea

    It was swell. Thanks for letting us know about it and be sure to let us know when it’s on again. I had to drop offline towards the end ’cause it was Sunday night and I had to draft the weekly car driving schedule into excel for the four drivers and three cars in the house (not including the YAs or their cars). I did get to see your MOH so that was a nice treat. It’s cold here, didn’t get much above 40 today and overcast (random thought…). We will try the computer on Thanksgiving (with the whole camera thing going on). The YAs are going to his sister’s house, but perhaps they will be home here about the time you are done eating there. I’m thinking we can share dessert together for sure if we can’t make it for din din.

  3. Robert, since you’ve got someone looking at your writing on Nascar, I have faith that you can pull off a coast-to-coast auto love fest with subsidiary beer drinking. I totally get it. My oldest son loves cars, but Corvairs in particular. He can drop an engine in one and drive away in it in less than two hours.

    Just let me know when. I’ll tune in. And I’ll bring the brewski. I like Newcastle and Boddington’s though, with Guinness running a distant third. Maybe Dos Equis Amber or Sam Adams. Sorry. Can’t do Bud or Coors. Ew.

  4. Hey Lormo — I had so much fun and am glad you guys were game. You gotta get your youngest RT hooked up with her own show. I know it would be so hilarious. She could do reviews on….Stagecoach Inns….Bwhahahahah! I will tell you when I do it again. I need to do some planning. And as far as Thanksgiving goes, I’ll have the MoH bring the Mac back down, and we’ll all have a Cheers! together. His fambly will love it!

  5. cinnamon rolls? do you ship to australia?

  6. yanno, nursemyra, I could be encouraged…truly. But you’d have to share them with the guy who whizzed on that person in the elevator.

  7. Hey thanks for stopping by my bloggaroni…and for giving me this great idea for video blogging over at my place. As soon as we get out of this freaking hotel and into a little apartment, I might do it. Cheers!

  8. Hi Ohmyword…You’re welcome. And from what I’ve seen of your writing, it would be great video of your bloggaroni.

  9. OMG I am in love with this. IN LOVE.

    I wish I had seen you on TV. Im bummed I missed it.

  10. Mmmmm…..cinnamon rolls….someone HAS to invent smell-o-vision!! PLEASE let us know when you’ll “be on” again! I wanna watch! Congrats!

  11. Earlene

    How much fun can one have? I am so happy you are having fun and learning at the same time. I miss your cooking so much! Can’t wait to be your sous chef when you are here. Mom

  12. Thanks, mom! We’re looking forward to a good time and I’m already planning some menus… With salsa, of course.

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