Parts is Parts

What does it say about me when I can admit that I spent most of my morning at work putting labels and stickers on file folders in preparation for this next year of business and L.O.V.E.D. it?

CONTROL. The woman craves CONTROL. (insert wicked and crazed laughter here and clasp your hands near your chin, making sure to rub them as if applying lotion) It’s an office supply problem. You know. Paper, and pencils, envelopes and white out? I’ve always had an issue with office supplies, and I’ve learned there’s no cure.

But wait! There’s more.

I worked a whole extra 90 minutos loving it. I could see a real live finished product that had dimension. And I could carefully pick up all the brightly colored folders, and click them on the desktop to make sure they were PERFECTLY lined up. So. Cool.

About half way through my time, someone brought up New Year’s Resolutions, and I was surprised that I hadn’t even thought of making one. Of course, now, it’s still on my mind. But not so much that it has kept my drawers in a knot or anything. Now that would be quite the conundrum. Call this practiced avoidance.

Why do you need a resolution when you have a list. I made one last night before going to bed so I could hit the ground running when I got home from my J.O.B. Guess what was first on the list? Okay, so you’ll never guess, and although I’m a complete pro at Twenty Questions, I’ll cut to the chase…

…my friends at Best Buy. Or better said if you’ve watched the show on Monday nights, Chuck, which is beyond surprisingly good for television and no, I’ve never watched Boston Legal, or 30 Rock, or…Okay, you get it. Buy More. That’s what the store is called on Chuck. Best Buy is Buy More. Whatever.

Anyway, I called like a gracious and tolerant consumer who has been screwed and dragged over the coals by the capitalist machine that will be the bane of our existence before we know it ahem…has been so patient with an obvious communication problem.

I was less than thrilled when Josh answered the phone after I dealt with the cheerful machine and sitting on hold for 10 minutes. It wasn’t that Josh wasn’t thrilling. He’s been well trained. “Let me verify that the television we’re talking about is at (***) 555-DORK.” I told him that was correct and that there were most likely red flags and unhappy faces stamped around my phone number along with a few Jolly Rogers and a Fickle Finger of Fate for good measure. After a professional pause, he stated that they did not deal with red flags and unhappy faces (bwahahahahahaha!) and then he read me the notes the supervisor wrote on 12-14 after I spoke with her about what could be done.

Poor Josh read, “General Electronics (authorized posers) is having difficulty ordering parts.” I could only gasp delicately and ask him to tell me if that meant the parts to fix our T.V. still had not been ordered before I collected myself to breathe scorching flames through the receiver. He politely responded that,” because I’m not a supervisor, ma’am (wince), I may not be able to access all the information regarding what has transpired.”

So yes I spoke to yet another supervisor whose name I was provided without a request and isn’t that stellar customer service? But after she said hello, she asked to put me on hold so she could review the service notes. Uhhh…what service?

And when she couldn’t tell me whether parts had or hadn’t been ordered, I told her I would take the T.V. to the closest Buy More Sucker Store and stay there until they gave me a new T.V.

And guess what?

She said in her well-trained and pleasant customer type service voice, ” I can submit an authorization for you, if you’d like.”

Huh? “An authorization for what?” I asked.

“An authorization for a replacement T.V. which will take three to five business days.”

Go figure. So I told her I’d prefer the quickest way to ensure the T.V. was totally functional and wasn’t this a lot of horse shit from me.  She said she’d pursue both avenues and ain’t that special. I was smiling, however. And I did NOT raise my voice ONE time. But my eyebrows were very angry.

So next Wednesday, I’ll bring this up again. You will be soooooo over it, but it will be so special to find out whether I’ve been granted a brand spanking new T.V. or parts. And you know what they say about parts.

Parts is parts…OR…the sum of the parts is greater than the whole.

What’s that song that says something about being happy if you know it and clapping your hands?

Yah. Like that.

Now, on to the next thing on my list.


9 responses to “Parts is Parts”

  1. LOL – I love office supplies too! I spent NY Eve reorganizing my home files after a lovely trip to Office Max. I just wish I liked my job half as much as you like yours!

  2. “But my eyebrows were very angry.”


    In the future, perhaps I should limit my anger displays to just my eyebrows. Nah….I’m not sure my mouth could handle it. 🙂

    Good luck with the TV.

  3. Unfortunately we are still in the process of reorganizing our disaster area…. Errrrrm, office. Hopefully It will be done in the next few weeks.

  4. Hey Barbara — the love for the job comes from not having to do ten thousand things at one time, not being responsible for nearly 1,000 people every day, and blissfully not having to do anything at home related to it. Nice.

    mel — I’m an expert on the eyebrow thing. The left one does this arching thing independent of the one on the right. Scary. Very. But hilarious.

    Jerry, I think we’re in the same mode. I got our office sort of organized, and then the new piles came out again. It’s making me crazy!

  5. Yeay.

    Now that you are MAKING LISTS and LOVIN it….you need to trust me when I tell you, 30Rock and BOSTON LEGAL are AWESOME.

    Chuck IS a great show…but really….BOSTON LEGAL…. YOU NEED TO WATCH THAT

    sorry for abusing the Caps Locks. I was shouting.

  6. I love Chuck!! Why does it take 15 phone calls and various and assorted supervisors to get one simple solution? We went through that when we had Verizon internet service. Idiots…all of them….even sent me a new board to install in the computer and all it was was a stupid security block. DUH!!! As for listmaking, I love it. when in a restaurant kitchen there is nothing more important to me then a list. And god forbid someone move it or lose it. Death will ensue. My husband makes fun of my lists…..until he forgets to pack something for himself. I had it on my list! HAHAHAHAA!!

  7. I read your response to Meleah’s Meme post…..The next time you come to the East Coast, you’ve got drive the NJTPK. The running joke in Jersey is “What exit do you live off of?” She is a Bitch and I avoid her at all costs!!! LOL!! But, she is an Adventure in herself!!

  8. be very wary of a woman with angry eyebrows…very very wary..I speak from experience…..:):):)

  9. You will be pleased to know that I, too, have an obsession with office supplies. And I don’t even have a ‘true’ office! I just want office stuff! Man. Office supplies are HOTT.

    Unfortunately, my eyebrows and voice/vocal mechanism/brain/etc. are all connected. I rarely can do one without the other being involved in some way. Tsk.

    Your posts are always so witty and welcome. 🙂

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