Clearly I’ve uploaded a new version of WordPress and well…I have a mess to clean up now. At least I won’t be bored this weekend, huh?
There is simply nothing quite like waking up on a Friday, looking forward to actually eating something before 1pm and screaming at the latest supervisor on the phone with Best Buy. But I’m not going to bore you with the sordid details because I’ve recovered from my searing anger, am no longer shaking, and have managed to pull myself up knowing that sometimes, telling myself that I should have more patience simply does not work. I ran out, okay?
I opened a book my mother-in-law gave me a few years ago called Simple Abundance. It’s one of those hefty tomes that is somewhat of a day book with a page designated for each day of the year. January 11th’s entry for thought is entitled, “Is it Recession or Depression?” It begins with some words from Hellen Keller: “No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.” The entry then proceeds to inform me that I must put thoughts of lack behind me, but to do that, I must change. I must make a fundamental change — but have to take a deep breath first. I have to learn to be an optimist.
I am. I have been. I’m a pathological optimist. I’m so freaking optimistic my birth certificate probably says Pollyanna and my mother just decided to call me Kelly for hoots. In fact, I believe the reason I get so completely worked up in certain situations where I end up ripping my hair out IS because I trust and believe and care. I subscribe to the whole treat people like you want to be treated philosophy. I DO. But at some point, I end up feeling like there’s a huge sign on my forehead that reads, S.U.C.K.E.R. and that’s the part that hurts. No one enjoys being taken advantage of or feeling as if they’re just plain stoopid. It will always be my straw. The one that causes me to crack.
Once cracked, my resolve is gone. I don’t care any more. Any patience or grace I’ve carefully collected to keep myself in check is lost and it’s all men for themselves after that. And having a person say over and over and over that they “understand my frustration” only makes the entire experience worse. Who trains them to say that? It’s such a complete bunch of shit. Seriously. Who trains them to say that? Do they think that anyone will actually believe them when it comes out of their lying mouths? Oh. My. Goodness. Just fix the FREAKING television and you won’t have to feel my pain. OKAY?
So back to becoming Simply Abundant…I’m supposed to smile at everyone I meet today. I assume that this is along the lines of shaking hands and kissing babies. I actually do this. If you saw me, you’d most likely describe my smile as that of one on the edge, or a smirk. But it’s genuine. I learned a very long time ago that it isn’t painful, and people actually smile back much of the time. Well, except the cranky ones. Their faces would break if they smiled, I’m thinking. Yes, Simplified Abundancy…I’m supposed to expect something good to happen to me no matter what occurred yesterday and that I’m not a captive of the past.
No, I’m not a captive of the past. And I know that I do believe that amazing things can happen if we expect them. I do. And no, I’m not currently shifting my emotional warheads to strike Best Buy’s Customer Service Call Center where ever the hell it is. Ahem…captive of the past…It is how I overcome whatever roadblocks I encounter. Chin up, stiff upper lip, grin and bear it, tally ho and all that sort of rot. Unfortunately, Best Buy is quite the large roadblock. Quite.
But I’m pretty persistent and have been thinking that if I employ a perky Southern lilt, or a sultry alto with the slightest hint of a French accent, I may at least have some chance of being entertained while Best Buy is jacking me around each week.
Today, just to see if Helen’s “secrets of the stars” were aligned, I read my horrorscope in the local paper. It told me that my “work efforts may not yield a desired result as quickly as I want, but that I should maintain faith in my plan. That I am planting seeds of greatness that I will sow months, perhaps years from now.” (Greatness, indeed. If I EVER get within a mile of Best Buy, I’m sure I’ll see wanted posters cautioning shoppers about approaching me if I’m seen without a leash.)
Yes, Helen, your stars do have secrets, because I believe in possibilities. That’s what optimists do. They believe. They may not be able to tell you why, though, because it’s just an instinct. And that’s enough.
So there you have it. My take on today. Friday. Not bad, huh?
Wait. Don’t even think for one second that I’m perky. That would be a humongous mistake. Don’t even go there.
But I am smiling and looking forward to the rest of my day and the weekend.