Cork for My Attitude, Perhaps?

I am seriously cranky today. For the most part, I wouldn’t bother to mention it because I rarely am, and if I am, it’s not something worth mentioning. I have committed myself to a permanent state of being one who does not deserve to be cranky ever again, no longer having to deal with the stresses that those who work deal with. My four hours a day do not qualify me.  What a martyr.

But I’m mentioning it anyway.


The aggravating sensation that something is not quite right. An annoyance, hovering somewhere just out of reach.

It’s making me crazy and I’ve begun a mental check of all that it could possibly be, torturing myself with the stupidity of it.


If I was intelligent, I would bury myself in a good book, or go for a walk. Fresh air seems to cure all. But I’ve stubbornly chosen to tackle a few tasks that needed to be taken care of, stewing with each check made on my mental list of things to do:

  1. Finally, finally contacted our neighborhood association with the needed information to register our cars. (We’re not allowed to park on our own street because we have room in our driveway and garage and cars parked on the street makes the neighborhood look tacky). You, too, should live in Paradise. Whatever. We do park in our driveway, but once in a while we leave one on the street. What? They’ll tow us?

  2. Emailed the RTR’s counselor at school to set up some meetings to monitor his assignments (He likes to bring home classwork to be finished, that by his own admission, isn’t challenging, and won’t take very long to do, but doesn’t do it. Because. He can…). Oh, but he does want to go away to college, just in case I was wondering. No problem, dude. See if you can get one to let you in.

  3. Tried again to book our flights for our vacation this summer, found the website uncooperative, and feeling a bit wary, called to get assistance since a screw up could cost two years of saved points. Wouldn’t that be a great story? (This would be the bright spot in my day since the woman found tickets and we’re booked at last).

But right now, I am just cranky. Getting into bed and pulling the covers up over my head might help, but the sun is shining, the weather is cheerfully unlike my mood, and I’d end up sweating like a pig.

Do pigs sweat?

Regardless, there’s a cherry on this little sundae of mirth and glee. It appears that I’m going swimming this evening. Yes, my friends and I are going to try and get back into our little routine of exercising regularly.

Winter legs. Ugly bathing suit. Lumpy body. Chipped toenail polish. Grouchy face. Bitchy mouth.

Oh, hell ye I’m in the mood for this.

This tells it all. Just six words. I think you’d agree, right?

Does it LOOK like I’m in a good mood?

Which means you need to partake in this exercise — seeing if the sum of your life can be reduced to a mere six words.

By all means, have some fun with it. Olga did. But Olga always has fun. Double the fun.

Some girls have all the luck. Lumps in all the right places.




, ,



11 responses to “Cork for My Attitude, Perhaps?”

  1. Sometimes we all get cranky for no apparent reason. I know I do and the one who suffers is Jon :-/ Exercise works for me.

    I like the new look of the blog. And I’ve always lied Blackitty. He makes me smile 😀

  2. don’t you just love it when you get a case of the crankies?
    I go into hiding when I get that way… just in case I say something I might regret later… or not 😉

  3. Ritzy

    I was with you yesterday – Mr. Ritzy was home from work, recovering from 3 days sleepless & drunk & gambling in Vegas with his Navy Dudes… I put him to work cleaning carpets, fixing sinks, washing & painting walls – and cooking! We have three days until the house goes on the market. I think we can, I think we can! I had a major case of the crankies, the stress, the bithciness, no patience, snapping at anyone whoe breathed or looked at me the wrong way. Two beers at dinner (finally after 7PM) and 2 glasses of wine after the Boys went to bed and life was a little bed. Add on a Tylenol PM and life was dark, quiet and sleepy. Finally. 🙂

    Good luck with your swimming again. Everyone has winter legs right now – I know you’d be in good company here in the still-snowing Midwest! I think heere they still might be ice fishing, not thinking of swimming!

  4. Kelly….you rocked the meme…and you are ALLOWED to be cranky.

  5. Hey meleah. Thanks. Much better today. Everyone can turn off their deflector shields now.

    Ahhh, Ritzy. I’m liking the two beers for dinner and then two glasses of wine. Party on, girl. You deserve the relaxation after all that work. Good luck on your house!

    Dawn, the “or not” is hilarious! I totally get it.

    Ben, I had to fish you out of the SPAM bin today. I wonder what’s up with that??????? And yes, I walked three miles at dawn’s crack today. Two-and-a-half? Still…

  6. I love your meme response! I LOVE your meme response! 🙂

  7. Melissa

    I can totally relate…I have those days every now and then.. as for
    as the lumps, I get that…How do you dress for warm weather and
    cover what needs covering.?? Big and white is an ugly sight..

    I say sweating like a pig all the time.. and a pilot friend of mine who
    grew up on a farm tells me pigs don’t sweat.

  8. Ummm… things could be worse. You *could* have ghosts in your house. That does wonders to a cheerful attitude. Gah.

    Dig in the dirt, plant something. Getting grounded like that is like an instant attitude adjustment for me.

    Or just kill something. That might work too.

  9. Hey Cranky Pants! (I so hope that makes you laugh..It’s what I call my son in the morning…he is not a morning person!) Do you have a favorite on Top Chef yet?? I can’t decide. It would be interesting to see the female couple come down to going head to head! Loved your meme!

  10. I hope the swim went well, I wish there was some place warm enough to swim here.

    Usually running takes my cranks away, not always but usually. If not that than thinking about throwing my unfinished papers in a large bonfire while drinking a bottle of Merlot usually works.

  11. Chefmom, I’m lovin’ the “CrankyPants” moniker. I have a friend who calls me “Sunshine” and it gets the point across. She says it with a big smile and sparkly eyes. Yah. Whatever. Top Chef? I need to write about that. Thanks for the eye-dee.

    Tammy, my flowerbeds are so rootbound (planters…) that I can barely dig in the dirt anymore. I do have one bed I’m thinking the cat likes to do her thang in, but do plant annuals there and YOU ARE CORRECT! It works. Guess I should’ve gotten my butt out there, huh?

    Hey Melissa — yes, big, white and ugly over here has stepped up her exercise, so hopefully I’ll be smaller, white and ugly in a couple of months.

    Thanks Olga! The photoshop session helped soothe the crankies.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.