life according to me

life according to me

Resilience, buoyance…Right.

With every day that passes, I find myself adjusting to my new schedule.  I haven’t quite gotten back into the habit of mentally planning what I’ll wear to work the next day (because let’s face it, priorities are priorities…) but it’s only a matter of time.  Some mornings, I lag so badly after checking emails and messing around with a few other odds and ends on my Mac, I have to hurry to dress and slap on my make up in less than 20 minutes.  Not bad.

I don’t mind the work, the setting is beautiful, and the people I work with are very pleasant, so the day passes quickly.  It’s arriving home that requires more of an adjustment because whatever I haven’t taken care of is sitting and waiting when I arrive.  Clearly I don’t have a fairy godmother.  Sure the MoH helps out — he always has.  It’s more an annoyance to have to be more organized again so that when I do want to enjoy my evening with the menfolk, I’m not having to stare at undone chores and tasks.  Not exactly relaxing, but I suppose that’s what I get.

And then there’s the cooking.

You do understand that a dent has been put in that as well, right?  We don’t do take-out very often, so as much as some may seize the opportunity to fall into that routine after returning to a full-time job, we don’t.  In fact, I starve most of the day and then come home wanting to eat the broad side of a barn.  Unfortunately, that leads to an immediate lack of interest in dinner.  Whatever attempt I make in the feeding the family department is usually decent, but I see it as a string of dominoes.  If I cook, then I have to clean up.  If I cook and it’s tasty, then I have to take photos.  If I take photos, then there’s an outside chance I’ll need to blog about it.

You caught the “need,” right?  Need to blog about it.

There used to be a want, but let’s face it — I treated blogging like a job — a job I wanted. At least I used to. Sure it’s a job that pays crap for the amount of time and effort that goes into it, but it felt like a job nonetheless.  So “need” isn’t quite cutting it any longer.

I’m not sure where I was going with this other than to put down how my thinking is changing as I adjust, and how quickly old routines fall back into place.  At the same time, it shows how quickly new interests fall to the wayside if we don’t continue to nurture them.  It’s forcing me to think about the work to live vs. live to work dilemma.   I’ve decided to take one week day off while it’s slow during the summer and that’s probably helping me put things in perspective. It’s fascinating that on that day off, I can push even the smallest thought of work completely out of my mind — almost as if it didn’t exist.  On the weekend, it’s even better.  And I guess that’s all great, except I miss my quiet time.

Somehow, I have to find that again — even if it means hiding in my closet once in a while.

In the dark.

I could call it meditation.



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