Waste of a morning in 20 easy steps

Just a dose of my “business” life so far this morning — a not quite wordless Wednesday.

An ad agency responded to my recent inquiry regarding use of their ads.  They’ve approved me, but I’ve been delaying taking next steps because it involves sitting at the Erstwhile Resident Teen’s dusty computer, signing in to my email there, printing  the agreement document, signing it, scanning it, and then attaching it to an email to send.  No, it’s not exactly rocket science, so outside of being tedious in a I’d-rather-do-anything-else-but-this kind of way, it’s a task easily accomplished, right?

Um, no.

  1. Mobile Me says the PDF is too large.  Uh.  I’ve sent larger with no problema? Figures.
  2. I can’t figure out how to reduce the size of the PDF with STOOPID FREAKING LOUSY ROTTEN Microsoft Vista.  Crap. Crap. Crappidy Crap Crapster.  (You’re picturing Colin Firth in King’s Speech here, but without the far more colorful language).
  3.  So, I decide to use my Gmail account instead, thinking I’m pretty smart even though I’ve had to resort to this before out of desperation.  Please know the two computers are separated by a wall, so it’s always strange.  Ahem.
  4. Right smacking in the middle of writing the email, the wireless keyboard stops working.  No warning.  No blinky lights, or warning messages.  Just.  Out.
  5. I try to reconnect.
  6. I check the status of the keyboard and am not happy to see it’s listed as working just fine.
  7.  I load new batteries.
  8.  I reload new batteries because I can’t see and am not sure they’re loaded properly.
  9. I restart the computer.
  10. TWICE.
  11. Shaking the keyboard has no effect on its function.
  12. I try the “Connect” button on the back of the keyboard, but nada.
  13. Please know that smacking the keyboard with the palms of both hands simultaneously also does not work.
  14. To spare the neighbors and my blood pressure, I take a few trips up and down the stairs emptying trash, doing laundry, entertaining our high-maintenance furry teen-aged feline “daughter” with her string, assorted balls, her catnip baby, and also brush her a few times which makes her extremely happy.
  15.  I shine the floors upstairs with a cleaner that makes them look worse than when I began.
  16. I get another cleaner and give the hairy eyeball treatment to the dusty PC which sits staring blankly on the desk.
  17. I notice how hot it is today already (86 degrees!) and think WTH.  Where was Mr. Sunshine this past summer, hmmm?
  18. I finally give in and decide I’ll either steal the Erstwhile Resident Teen’s printer and install it on my Mac or try to reinstall the one I have attached to my Mac (which stopped working smack in the middle of the Erstwhile Resident Teen’s graduation project over a year ago so only a total idiot would do that, right?)
  19. I look in the mirror to confirm that I meet the qualifications at this point.
  20. Sadly, I glance at the clock and realize I’ve been dicking around with this sh*t for an hour and a half and have accomplished NOTHING.  But the cat’s happy.

You’re laughing, right?


I look at it this way.  Wednesday is the day I have been promising myself to write about something other than food, so I’m thinking this is a swell topic to write about.

I’ll do that before I install the printer.

God I can’t stand crawling under desks.


2 responses to “Waste of a morning in 20 easy steps”

  1. I am HYSTERICAL laughing over here! OMG! I vote you take the printer and install it on your Mac! That would make life MUCH easier. Yes?

  2. Earlene Olsen

    You absolutely crack me up! I wish I had it recorded. YouTube would love you! Keep writing!

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