Funny how things work out…

Ahhhhh…the glories of working with enormous corporations that have us all by the short hairs. I’ve been scratching my head today, truly wondering what the hell is going on. Wondering whether someone put a whammy on me, or if my stars aren’t lined up correctly, or my horrorscope was not great today.

Or is it just that as much as giant companies like to project that they provide customer service, and are smiling, helpful, and just love us to death, that they’re just full of horse shit.

For TWO DAYS I have been trying to purchase a new phone for the MoH. Actually, today would be the third. It was to have been a Valentine’s Day present to help him with organization. I’ve been looking at the PDA’s and thinking that the Palm Treo 700wx Smartphone would be just the ticket. He’d have wireless access when clients don’t and his laptop is then not a help. Sounds great, right?

Day One: I ventured to the mall and the Verizon kiosk and asked the young lady if she could help me. (Quite the switch from the normal situation where I have to dodge the salesperson who wants to sell me a phone each time I walk by every other time I’ve happened by in the past…) She clearly hadn’t been working there long, so had to rely upon a young man who was also there. I should have known better. It was my car pool pick up day, and I never, ever thought it would take as long as it did to attempt to purchase a phone. Just call me Pollyanna.


So I needed the MoH’s social security number. Sure. That would be something I carry around. I don’t even carry mine around. Not a great idea in this day and age. So I did call the office to get it and things began to move along until we came to another roadblock. If the PDA was purchased and activated, his cell would no longer work. Picture being at a client’s and not being able to access anyone or anything and not know why. Not quite a Valentine, right? So…

I’d purchase the PDA, and then I’d go back after Valentine’s Day to have it activated, yadda, yadda, yadda.

They didn’t have the Treo I wanted in stock. Coincidentally, however, an associate (why do they call them that?) was soon to arrive and he would have one. Could I please wait?

Um. I know I was at the mall, but since the only reason I went there was to get the PDA, then why would I want to walk around? I’m not a window shopper. But it was a Valentine’s present, so I window shopped for thirty minutes and when I went back to the kiosk, ten minutes past the time I was told the associate would arrive, he still hadn’t.

And then I enquired about the other kiosk in the mall. I was told it was corporate. “You know, for business people,” the young woman informed me. Um…well not exactly. And I found out the hard way.

I told them I’d be back the next day when they had phones in stock and purchase it then, hurrying to get the kids and knowing I was already late.

Day Two: I got off at noon and went back to the mall. The rainstorm that everyone acted like they were surprised by had raged earilier, and it was still very blustery. In fact so much so, that the kiosk was closed.

Not. Surprised.

So I walked to the “Corporate” kiosk to find out if they could help me. The very nice “new” employee there explained that the kiosk I had visited the previous day was a third party provider and that although they were authorized by Verizon to sell their products and provide service, they were in it to make money. Oh really? And Verizon Corporate isn’t?

So after trying to help me sort out whatever had already transpired with respect to the upgrade and pending purchase of the PDA, the young man had to climb up on the counter to look for the Treo I wanted.

They were out.


But there was a store across the street and perhaps I could go over there…

So I did.

And they told me since I wasn’t the Account Holder, I couldn’t purchase the MoH his valentine. In fact, even though I pay the bill each month, I couldn’t do a flipping thing.

Ladies and gentle men. Let’s all spell this word together: D-R-A-C-O-N-I-A-N business practice. What century are we living in? Oh. My. Goodness. If I wrote how I felt standing at that counter, my screen would ignite.

But! Because I had left a scathing voice message at the first kiosk about being deceived by their tactics and unprofessional practice, a new associate returned my message offering to lower the price of the PDA and throw in some accessories for free if I could make it over there before a certain time. Totally cut throat, now that I think of it, because he was scamming on the poor young woman I first worked with. Unbelievable. In fact, he said if I could show up the next day after a specific time, the deal was still good. But no, I couldn’t make it.

So no valentine present for the MoH. But when I called him to tell him (he was with a client…) he laughed and asked me if I knew how much he liked me. Yes, I do know, but it still didn’t make me feel any better. And I’m still pissed, but not beaten.

Until today.

Day Three: So I got on line and decided to purchase one on line. But I should have known because there’s a whole system of checks and balances to make sure you are HE. The ACCOUNT HOLDER. The MAN. Not the wife. ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

The on-line helper chat box lady said, NO GO.

So after calling the MoH to tell him that unless he changes access in our account, Hell would freeze over before I could take care of this and then I’d require surgery to remove my tail between my legs and some helium to reinflate my wounded wonder woman ego.

Sometimes I really and truly detest the way things are set to default in our society. It SUCKS.

Moving right along.

But I was still not completely deterred, so I created an account for the MoH, called him and told him to email the temporary password he would be sent and logged in as him. I chose the PDA, and headed for checkout before realizing that if I continued, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to add this to our existing account. It would be on a new account, and what a potential nightmare to clean that one up.

So I got on with a new helper chat session type lady who wasn’t any help. No matter what I did, even acting as the MoH with his account info…it kept telling me that what I was trying to do was reserved for THE ACCOUNT HOLDER. How did it know it wasn’t him?

Totally stoopid. What a complete waste of SO MUCH TIME and EFFORT.

But you know what I got for Valentine’s Day from my sweetheart?

A weekend at the Four Seasons Ritz-Carlton Aviara. It was the surprise sealed in my valentine!

True story.

Funny how things work, huh?

We’ll figure out the PDA thing later.

Post Script: So just to convince you that not much has gone swimmingly well in the past couple of days (read can’t walk and chew gum at the same time and whatta dork…) we AREN’T staying at that particular hotel. We’re staying at The Ritz-Carlton, Laguna Niguel — also completely swanky. But I didn’t realize this until AFTER I’d made reservations for dinner, etc. Um, do you think they do brain surgery? Jeez.



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10 responses to “Funny how things work out…”

  1. this world is upside down…. it freaks me out…..

  2. A HUGE reason I threw my Treo in the trash at the local Verizon store – and I was the account holder. I am not saying At&T is much better but a little…

  3. Yikes!! And it is amazing to me that you can’t purchase something without him, but if they want money, they’ll deal with anyone in the house!! I’d take the weekend at the Four Seasons Ritz-Carlton Aviara over the phone anyway:) You tried so hard and that is the sweetest gift he could get.

  4. melissa

    It looks like a really lame place… I’m sure you will be
    bored to death. I hope they clean up and change the sheets
    before you get there…. HA HA HA…..WOW…….hope you have
    tons of fun!!!! It looks absolutely fabulous…………………He is a definite keeper

  5. THE RITZ CARLTON IN LN! wooo hooo! Sounds lovely. I drive by it all the time but never set a foot inside (yet).

    PS. I know the head valet there, did a nice looking young guy with dark hair take your car?

  6. What a nightmare! And that is why I do not (and refuse to) have a cell phone. When people look at me like I am crazy. I ask them how humans in the last 10,000 at least manage to survive without cell phones and ipods and all that “must-have” technology. Oh technology technology!
    At least you will have a great weekend at the Four Seasons I am sure 😀

  7. You have my sympathies, K. Below is an email I got from my mom – she feels your pain as well:

    Dear ones,

    Due to weather circumstances beyond our control, we have changed our plans and will be leaving Wed. a.m. I have dealt with US Air for 1 hour and 45 minutes; I now have a tension headache and will be in bed for the next 60 minutes. The new schedule is below, we will be here until Wed morning. I hope the weather gets bad enough so we won’t be sorry for our change in plans, but you never know if what the weathermen says is what’s really going to happen.

  8. Hi Kelly,
    I’ve passed a couple awards on to you and your site. You can check the post here. Not as prestigious as say a Pulitzer, but I do what I can :).

  9. This sound familiar. I’m still onmy parents family plan and had to go through some kind of ritual to get my name added to the account as someone who can order change things etc. Yet as it turns out I am only half a person because there is another secret password to the billing account one must have, not that same as being added to the online thing,which would allow me to for instance request a lost password. It took my father all day from Australia to take care of that issue. If weren’t so much cheaper for me to do it this way I’d get my own account.

    Glad you had such a nice treat for Valentine’s Day.

  10. thats a freaking nightmare….. ugh.

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