I don’t expect that on Valentine’s Day anyone will be spanking me with dog or goat-skin whips in order to increase my fertility this year, because although some may find that entertaining, I wouldn’t. I’m thinking that the MoH wouldn’t like it much either, since he’s my Valentine, and I his.
We’re more about simple things and goofiness like emails that come as soon as I sit down in front of my Mac because he’s figured out nearly exactly when that happens each day. Some people think that after two people have been Valentines for 25 years that there might not be too many more surprises, but I’d say they’re wrong because I’ve been surprised four times this week and it’s not even Valentine’s Day yet.
The first email said…
On the first day of Valentine’s your true love gave to yooooouuuuuuuu….
Something sweet under a pillow very near by.
He knows I love Chuao chocolate. Love. It.
On the next morning, just as I was wondering if there would be a second day of Valentines’ and whether I qualified for it the second email came…
On the second day of Valentine’s your trule love gave to yooouuuuuuu….
Your true love gave to yooooouuuuuu
Something stinky that thought it was going to watch TV but ended up in a dark cave.
Let me know if you can’t figure that out.
Now, I don’t know about you, but since I’m sort of stuck in all things food on most days, I thought of a very nice piece of cheese. I know. But the MoH knows me and clearly he was enjoying himself with all of this Valentine’s Day revelry, so I went with my first instinct and checked the cheese drawer in our fridge. It’s pretty dark in there these days since I haven’t changed the light bulbs that have long been burned out, and I supposed you could consider it a cave since…well, okay, maybe not so much, but still.
Regardless, there was no package in the cheese drawer, so I went down to the laundry room where it is actually quite chilly and is stinky, too, since that’s where the cat box is. But no present. And then the garage where the second fridge is, but nothing was there that I didn’t recognize, so upstairs to his closet to see if I’d neglected to do his laundry. But no.
So he sent me a second clue…
Stinky generally means it means bad, but maybe it just has a strong fragrance.
See clue 1 and then you were close with d) the garage fridge. And you will have to open up something to find it. And no it’s not in the trash cans.
I ventured back to the garage fridge and opened the butter box and found a bag of peanut butter filled pretzel nuggets with a $1.00 tag on them thinking, “He must have forgotten that he was going to do this riddle scavenger hut thing and ran into 7/11 on the way home…Or wants to get rid of me feeding me tainted peanut butter snack products.” Hell. When it comes right down to it, peanut butter isn’t high on my list of special things unless it’s in the form of a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup that’s been in the freezer for a while.
And then he sent me this…
So hmmm, I said you were close but that is too close.
What used to have a TV in it, is now in the garage and has a cavernous opening that you can close that sits next to the trash cans.
It starts with an A and ends with an R
Poor things, sitting waiting for someone to find them.
And so I venture back to the garage and open our old armoire to find these thinking that this is all so much fun. Yes, the presents are nice, but I love this goofy, romantic man I’m married to who has taken the time to do all of this for me and in between meetings is keeping up with it all when I still haven’t decided whether I’ll change my clothes or not. Or combed my hair.
This morning, I hadn’t yet opened my email because I was focused on other things. But no sooner had I opened my email and the MoH’s latest arrived…
Are you sitting at your computer waiting?
Have you already rifled thru the house wondering what treasure your sweet husband has left for you??
So here we go.
On the third day of Valentines your true love gave to yooooouuuuu.
A piece of plastic and a folded piece of paper.
But before I tell you where it is, it looks like you have a headache and need an aspirin.
Now I had already emailed him about what I was preoccupied with — our son, the RTR, who is somewhat absent-minded on most days. The night before, he’d been talking about spending the weekend with his cousin, and we have a routine where my sister-in-law and I meet half way to their house and drop off whichever boy is doing the visiting. I was worried that the plans weren’t in stone and that he needed to talk to the carpool driver about not picking him up after school today, or whether he’d packed a bag for the weekend. I needed to figure out Plan B and realized that the MoH and I could go out tonight and maybe see a movie or something.
With a barely recognizable rendition of The 12 Days of Christmas oddly coming from my pursed lips, I opened the MoH’s most recent email …
There’s no need to fear — Underdad is here.
I reminded him to tell M that he wouldn’t need a ride
I asked him about the bag and he said there would be time to come home
and pack it after school (then why do you need to cancel the ride?)
3pm at the halfway point is correct
See my last e-mail regarding your last question.
This makes me smile since my fat butt was still in bed sleeping this morning when all of this was going on. The MoH was the Mom of this family for many years while I was working, so he’s good at organizing details about who should be where and when.
Today’s riddle was very easy since I knew where the aspirin was even though I rarely have headaches. This is what I found… A gift certificate to shop in a favorite store and dinner at my favorite Greek restaurant. Guess I’ll have no excuse to wear sweats.
With Valentine’s Day still not quite here, I’ve collected quite a few Valentines from my Valentine.
And because I’m a sap, the best part has been all the fun.
He makes my heart go flippety-flop.