The problem with Apple wireless keyboards…

Divine Simplicity I love the beauty and intelligent design of my Mac — the elegance of pearly white encased in thick, clear plastic; the low silver sheen of the monitor’s wide foot; the transparent case that surrounds the wireless keyboard. So uncomplicated. So simple. So sleek.

Sleek Design

Uh…so it would have been nice to know that my passion for understated elegance and ease of function could be so summarily doused.

Teenage Keyboard Detritus How could I have known that my senses would soon be assailed by unwanted images of the RT’s afternoon snacks, stuck in my one place of design nirvana (since I can’t afford one of those Kohler vanishing edge tubs)?

Shaking it doesn’t work. The crumbs. Are. Stuck. In much the way that dog turds do to your Cole-Hahns after you’ve stepped in a fresh pile.

I don’t want to have to take the screws off the back of the keyboard. Nor do I feel I should have to purchase one of those little vacuum cleaners, or a can of that sprayable air. Or one of those little duster thingys that can be inserted between the keys. Keyboard Exhibit A I want a clean keyboard.

One that only I can touch.

One that will not collect the detritus of my son’s frozen burritos and Hot Pockets, leaving it encased like a museum exhibit metaphorically illustrating the effect of teenagers on the hope of a simple existence.

Or something like that…


22 responses to “The problem with Apple wireless keyboards…”

  1. I use the little can of air weekly.

    That is a gross picture by the way.;)

    I also use “q-tips”, and or cotton balls, soaked with alcohol to clean my keyboard.

  2. Cooper, I don’t have a can of air, but I am full of it, so I even tried blowing into it. Lots.

    I’ll get the screwdriver. Sheesh.

    Someday, you’ll know.

  3. Ritzy

    Well, that just sucks… and since you made me think of, I checked out my own keyboard. Yup, lots of Alex cereal debris, Jake’s chip’s chipping, lots of dust, and a little chocolate-looking schmegma smushed on the CTRL key for good measure. Ahh, well. There are worse things.

  4. Hey Ritzy. I’m thinking it’s more evolved than the oatmeal that used to be plastered on my boys’ high chairs years ago. Now that was gross.

  5. I am so happy I am not the only one with this problem! And I don’t even have a wireless one

  6. Yes, but Random, surely it can’t be this bad. Really?

    Jon, yes, wow. A bit different than the view of the beautiful leaves on your site right now, huh?

  7. You know those industrial-ready, sealed, coated, waterproof keyboards? Yeah. They cost a little more – okay a LOT more – than ordinary gear but I’ll tell you what: put one of them in the hands of a teenager and you’ll see a difference.

    Here the word ‘difference’ means stickier, waterproof clots of food coating every surface instead of merely wedged into crevices.

    But you know this I am sure.

  8. Hey, RJ. Like the ones I see at restaurants? Hmmm…I could remove mine, hide it in a special place, and then leave him to his gross and scummy one. If I only had some of that goop that goes in a petri dish. Oh, the mircrorganisms I could grow. They’d close me down fo’ sho.

  9. Dood…. My son isnt ALLOWED to touch my MAC. nor, is anyone else. I cant / wont share my MAC. “They” can all get their OWN.

  10. Yeah, I feel your pain. I have a Dell Inspiron that has a broken off piece of a Frosted Flake wedged between the A and the W. I have also just noticed that I must overused plurals and my S is way rubbed off.

  11. That’s disgusting!! How can that stuff find it’s way in, and yet, not fall out with a good shaking?

    Ewwwww. I just scrolled up and looked at your pictures again.

  12. OK, girlfriend, the next time I head to San Diego, I am dropping you off a can of air. I buy them by the gross…

  13. Hey meleah — I wish I didn’t have to let the RT use our computer, but he has a PC, poor thing, and it’s used mostly for gaming. He has to use mine for school and also uses it for iTunes. Bummer, huh?

    Hi Vanessa! Hahaha — frosted flake jam! Now that I think of it, one of my keys is sticking, too. Hmmm…refried beans? Gross.

    Dave good buddy…teenage boys are sticky than I want to discuss here. And you should’ve seen the photos I decided might make a few queasy. Totally disgusting when you see it all through that macro setting.

    Hey Beth — Cans of air by the gross, huh? Do they really work with stuck on fried food? I know they work with dust…

  14. I have the same problem..but turned into a useful thing….If your on a diet abnd forget to write down what you’ve eaten a magnifying glass and Viola..right there in the keyboard….let me see…..tostitos, a little salsa…mustard from the hotdog..that looks like a piece to taco shell..poke it with a toothpick…soft shell….

  15. Robert, you really think on your toes. You’d think I would have figured that out myself since I’m well acquainted with how much food I can dig out of the seats of my car after raising three boys. Happy Meal, anyone? Mmmmm….I dunno. It could be a close call between that and the keyboard detritus. The stuff in the keyboard doesn’t get “cooked” to a crispy state like the stuff in the car seat cracks. It’s good diet food because you can’t actually chew it.

  16. at least you can blame yours on your kid……..

  17. You must type a lot of dirty words. That’s the only explanation I can come up with.

    You should upgrade to a filth-free keyboard.

  18. As official online Health Dept keyboard inspector I give yours a very sad 72.5. Clean it up…or be shut down!

  19. paisley, Um…I could probably scrape up some crispy morsels in my car now, and I wouldn’t be able to blame that on anyone…Yuck.

    Robert, I’d like to type a lot of dirty words since I do have a potty mouth, but I’ve learned blogese, which isn’t quite as trashy. I’m a reformed dirty word user.

    Yes, Chick. I’m going on an excursion today to purchase some cleaning utensils and accoutrement…

  20. Ah, such delectable detritus..
    Indeed…it looks like mine. It is a magnet for the stuff.

  21. minx, I don’t believe your keyboard looks like this. REALLY? Nahhhhhh.

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