The anniversary of my first year as a bonafide blogger is approaching. You might think, “So what,” at first notice, but there is so much more that I’m mulling over.
My blogroll is one of them. Although it’s changed depending on the mood I’ve been in, or what mattered on a given day, it’s remained remarkably the same since I began a year ago on March 15th.
The Ides of March?
It seems as if it was yesterday. It’s warm enough here now to have a window open a bit, and the evening breeze accentuates it all, amazing me with glimpses of what has past as I breathe in the nearly spring fragrances in the damp air.
Someone may happen on to this and remark that I am just another maudlin individual who should be making better use of her time, and on some days, I might not disagree. But taking the surface level route on my slice of life for a year is not the best value for one’s money, because there is nothing identifiable about me that appears on the surface. Ever.
But it’s free, so party on.
The one thing I seem to have inherited from my grandmother on my father’s side is memory. Yes, I know that it’s a default mechanism for all humans, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Mine is predominantely visual, as are those of most individuals, but mine seems to be somewhat of a steel trap. I see it, it gets logged, and I can pull it up when I want. I’ve figured out at this point in my life, it isn’t a skill that most people have. I’m not sure what it’s good for other than knowing what recipe is in which book, or what the sounds, smells, and sensations I had when a photo was taken. But still.
I’ve come to rely upon my ability to scan through time and life as one might flip virtually through their iPod touch. That’s the closest way I can describe it.
And with my Bloggoversary rapidly approaching, I can say retrospectively that I’ve gained dog years in this endeavor. That would be seven for the price of one. Seven.
I’ve accumulated 4,689 “items” in my iPhoto library. And that doesn’t count those I’ve deleted because they’re crap. Besides, most of the photos are of food and that is a story in and of itself, so I’ll move on.
As I travel back, I can remember how I decided to write myself into the bloggosphere, where I gathered my inspiration, and how I’ve ended up here. Here. Is it a place? I think it is.
Does it matter? Certainly.
And who am I that I’ve come to want and need to put my words down each day in this fashion? Does it make me like so many others who find themselves in the same predicament?
At times, I don’t know what to make of it. But it matters.
I do have friends I see and use my voice with. They’re with me geographically and matter to me in much the same way that family does. But the people I’ve met here are important, too.
With my strange memory, I can tell you that the first blogger I met was a mother living in Seattle whom I though was hilarious. Somehow, that led me to Dooce. And along the way, I found a young woman — as they all seem to be — who had suffered a stroke and was regaining her ability to write. She broke my heart and I knew that doing this — writing each day in this particular fashion — would be like nothing I’d ever experienced.
And that has been true.
As I scroll back through my entries, I can remember so many things that may not seem significant to anyone else. But to me, they mark a point in my life. And I can say that little has been hugely significant in the last year from anyone’s perspective other than my own. But that’s because most of what matters to me is seen through a very small lens. When you drastically change the direction you thought your life would take, and simplify everything, the smaller aspects of life begin to appear.
I see them through the lens of a very small camera.
Although I’ve noticed small details all my life, I’ve become more adept at it. It may not be funny. It may not be sensational. No one may care but me. But still it matters and deserves recognition.
So happy almost bloggoversary to kellementology.
I’ll dedicate the next six days of inspiration to those who have helped make this year so rewarding.