life according to me

life according to me

Coherence?

I shouldn’t be writing now.  I definitely shouldn’t be writing this right now.  I’ve just put in a nice 12-hour day and if I want to sound coherent, then I should have some time to collect my thoughts.  Unfortunately there are too many wanting to crowd the space on this page, urging me to put them down to relieve the over-crowded conditions in my brain.

Imagine:  The “I wish I’d been more diligent about writing something of substance in the last two years” thoughts sitting alongside those having to do with, “Get to work at 6:15 today so I can make sure everyone has everything for the planned session today” robotic reminders.  Or consider the awkwardness of the “Oh my $#&* goodness, she really needs to get a grip” thoughts and the “Goodness, I didn’t realize her husband’s boss’s wife served on that committee” thoughts being in close proximity.  Shameful.

Like I said: coherent.

Last night I sat on the couch after I got home and begrudgingly embraced the old familiar YOU’VE JUST BEEN RUN OVER BY A TRUCK feeling I became accustomed to after 20 years of the opening of school.  You plan for it, it happens, you’re exhausted.  Period.  You get to the point of being able to look past the tread marks that run up and down your body and learn to admire your new physique, tempted to ask others if you look good like this;  more slender.

Remember the part about coherence?

In my flattened state, I sat on the couch in front of the television — something I never do before eight at night.  With a glass of wine in hand, I flipped channels until I found a show that required no effort on my part to stare at other than tolerating the commercials.  It was one of those shows where pack rats are reformed by cheerful home organization/decorator types, and thinking about it now makes complete sense:  A mess is transformed into something blissfully organized; there’s a beginning, a middle, and an end; the sun comes up and everybody’s happy when it’s over.

Coherence?

If I wasn’t so flat, I’d apply to be a guinea pig on one of those shows because it seems like cheap therapy.  But I could also build myself a nifty exercise program that would get all my endorphins coursing through my veins (arteries?) and then I’d be able to fit more into my day.

I’ll make a note of that.



5 thoughts on “Coherence?”

  • I find this post to be perfecty coherent. Women’s brains are multi-tasking, which can be a benefit (when you’re overworking for The Man) and a curse (when you’re trying to come down from working for The Man).

    Or maybe you’re working for The Woman. Or that mean ol’ boss called Yourself. Anyway. I have done exactly what you’ve done – glass of wine, flat on my back, staring bleary-eyed at a TV show that required no brain connection. Just don’t try the Japanese challenge shows. They will make you sit up and say “No, he/she did-int!” and spill your wine.

  • Television that requires no thought whatsoever is necessary!

    “A mess is transformed into something blissfully organized; there’s a beginning, a middle, and an end; the sun comes up and everybody’s happy when it’s over. I’d apply to be a guinea pig on one of those shows because it seems like cheap therapy. ”

    Or, if I lived closer I would GLADLY come over and get you organized!

  • Now that I am “back”, or at least planning on returning to a daily visit to my blogside, I must visit this site much more often than I have in the past. Just wondering what you will be writing as you head for your ninetieth birthday?

  • I love your blog! It was part of my daily routine. Please, try to find time for a few words once in awhile. I know other people love to read your words. Time. Time. It rules us. Maybe it is not only time that keeps you from writing, but putting your true feelings on paper is too difficult

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